Here’s what I’m looking for. A sincere (or at least half-assed) effort by my Gay readers to have a reasonably sane discussion, without your inanity mucking things up.
Have you heard the latest news about a Taylor Hicks cereal? Probably not, since all official news comes to me first. Well, let’s just say that there may be a poll here soon for all of you to vote on what the cereal should be named, and the results of the poll may influence the naming of said cereal. I want name suggestions for the cereal.
So let’s see if you dancing monkeys can prove to me that you have some brain cells left. Think you can swing it?
Ooh, will there be mini versions of the Dreamy Droolmaker in the cereal? Yum!
How about Soulful Cinnamon Squares?
I like Frosted Sugar Onion-O’s as a name. You can’t deny such a perfect coup d’état!
Dream Myself Awake Flakes!!
Oooh, I think they should be called Taylor’s Tasty Nuggets! One thing I can say, for sure, is that I would be willing to nibble on Taylor’s Tasty Nuggets eight days a week!
I propose Taybran in E Flat Major. The E flat scale is often times associated with bold and heroic music as evidenced by Beethoven’s frequent usage. It is also notable that this key is particularly suited for brass instuments.
I think this cereal name would prove to the world that the music of our Mellifluous Minstral, truly does have “brass with ass!”
TayGay Crunch! Because let’s face facts, our Sexy Scatman would not be where he is today, without the devoted, yet occasionally overzealous efforts of his beloved Gay! They simply must be joined together for all eternity through the magic of breakfast food!
Okay, I was going to try to think of a cereal name, but WantonWanda’s suggestion of Taylor’s Tasty Nuggets has gotten me all tied in knots! And I am not talking about a simple granny knot people. I am seriously twisted into a sheepshank of desire at the thought of Taylor’s Tasty Nuggets.
Back into a cold shower for me! Maybe I’ll be back later with the ability for coherent thought. Wish me luck!!
I’m thinking something along the lines of “Thighlicious Marshmallow Crunch” or “Silverfox Super Sugar Smacks.”
Hicks Trix- They “Whoo” when you add milk and never go soggy.
I understand that Tay-Sin Honey Clusters are quite a yummy treat also.
I would like to suggest that our saintly Emperor of Earnestness would be so pleased if we named his cereal Purity Puffs.
This would be a cereal that would declare his virginal stature to the world, and would be a box I would not be afraid to set out on the breakfast table for my children.
Taylor knows that True Love Waits, and I applaud his complete and total rejection of all temptations of the flesh, especially since his own flesh is so tempting.
Did I just say that outloud? Back to the confessional I go!!
Wow, all of you guys have put so much thought into your choices! I think our perfectly precious, albeit determinedly disdainful leader would be so pleased with your efforts! I hope he doesn’t find mine lacking.
I choose Honey Bunches of Mutual Respect and Admiration.
I have nothing more to add, the name says it all.
I think the obvious choice, especially for this slightly illiterate, grammatically challenged crowd would be:
Alphabits O’Soul
Not only are they yummy tidbits of processed grain, but could be useful for those of you who are so sadly unfamiliar with the English language!
SpellCheckNazie Away!!!
Ooooh Nazie! I must ask you if ALL the letters in the alphabet will be represented in Aphabits O’Soul? For instance, will I be able to find the letters H, D, T and U in my morning bowl of grainy goodness?
My gastrointestinal tract is going into paroxysms of anticipation!
Thank you, thank you, thank you Gay for this magically delicious opportunity to be a part of cereal history!!!
Wanda, we’re friends right? We can keep it real, right? I gotta be honest with you here and tell you that your thinly veiled attempt to bring “the word that shall not be mentioned” into a discussion about cereal has seriously disappointed me.
Gay has made his feelings abundently clear on this. Only he, as the master of this domain, has the right to hypocritically utter said word.
Please keep this in mind!
As a board certified liptorectumologist, I am saddened to see the shocking lack of concern for nonsoluble dietary fiber. Having spent years in a close professional relationship with the rectum, I can tell you that a lack of nonsoluble dietary fiber can leave you in a decidedly unsavory condition.
Please for the sake of regularity and good peritoneal hygiene, name this cereal Metamusical Bran Puffs.
This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the American Surgical Society for Liptorectal Kinetic Research (A.S.S.L.K.R.)
Gay, you have outdone yourself with the new festive header. Brilliant!
I think the new breakfast treat should be Unfrosted Pop Tarts cereal.
Just say no to frosted Pop Tarts! Our T-Man doesn’t like those frickin’ frosted pieces of trash, so neither should we! You are not a true fan if you like frosted Pop Tarts!
What I want to know is what the prize inside will be!
Liptorectumologist, I’m glad you posted. I’ve been interested in joining your career field. Do you like your job? It sounds rimmingly interesting and enjoyable.
I don knoew what to say, GBBG. I am SOOOOOOOOOO PUI rihgt noew. Ohk, did I tEll everone Haapy sT, Partkcs Day?
I goota goo to sllep so i:m redy toop party wiht teh lepso . . . teh lapro . . . teh lipto . . . fukc it.
gooona patry wth tha litlle grenn dueds latr.
GF, as a board certified Liptorectumologist, I can assure you that a career in the Liptorectal sciences will leave you with the sweet taste of success in your mouth, and the sweet smell of scientific progress in your nostrils.
Thank you for your interest in this deeply satisfying career. I hope you seriously consider leaving your current situation behind and taking the liptorectal plunge.
SoulSmurf! Your name reminds me of little blue creatures, living in a patriarchal society, with only one female in residence, who are constantly being tortured by a evil human and his vicious cat!
Why the hell is that?
BlowinSmoke, my friend, proper grammar would have dictated that you state “an evil” as opposed to “a evil” in your post above!
Normally, this would be enough to get my anal retentive panties twisted so far up my tight ass that I would require the services of a board certified Liptorectumologist.
But, I have been so spiritually damaged by the horror that is WantonWanda’s post, that I find my sphincter unable to tighten to it’s customary degree of torque.
SpellCheckNazie Away!!!
HAHA YOU STUPID. THAT SHOULD SAY ITS CUSTOMARY, NOT IT’S.
YOU DUMB DUMBASS
Liptorectumologist, what a small world. I happen to be an assistant liptorectumologist! I’m working my way up the alimentary ladder, and I will be a full liptorectumologist very soon. I love what I do for a living.
RD, I would respond to your post, but I choose not to, for a couple different reasons.
First, I am not entirely sure you are speaking to me, as you did not include my name in your post. This would be considered to be a CUSTOMARY rule of blog etiquette.
Secondly, as highly educated as I am, I am quite simply not fluent in “Mindless Drivel,” so I don’t understand a word you say.
Please, until you have shown to have even the most rudimentary knowledge of the English language, you can kiss my “Systematic Smartass!”
SpellCheckNazie Away!!!
Thanks for the information, Lip. I’m currently an exterminator, but unfortunately, my entomophobia and musophobia sometimes get in the way.
Random Dumbass, we do not allow people to make fun of the spelling and grammar errors of others here at Gay Charles.
TastinSphincter, as a board certified Liptorectumologist, I would love to deeply delve into the liptorectal delights with you at a much deeper, more penetrating level.
Please feel free to visit me at my website anytime. Our mission statement there is “All Rectal, All The Time.” I think you will find a lot of professional contacts there who will be happy to assist you in your quest for greater liptorectal knowledge.
BUT THAT AINT FAIR GAY, SPELLCHECKNAZIE DOES THAT ALL THE TIME!
Random, please keep the following words of advice in mind:
Now, the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
You have been warned.
And hit the Caps Lock on your keyboard immediately. Then you may type again.
ok sorry gay i will behave. i love it here!
As fascinating as this conversation has become for those of us who do not hold doctorate degrees in the liptorectal sciences, I feel it is my duty as one of Gay’s founding, and most highly regarded minions, to bring this blog back to its original intent.
Gay very simply asked us to provide him with potential names for cereal, nothing more and nothing less. Is this concept too complex for you all to comprehend?
This is a blog, not a message board! If you are interested in chatting it up with people who are as unable to follow direction as you are, you are free to register at one of the many dens of inanity, otherwise known as fansites.
If you are interested in attempting to maintain the deeply intelligent, and strictly monitored prose of this blog, please try a little harder to follow the rules in the future.
Gay, I think it might be time for you to make a new blog post for our commenting needs. We’re getting dangerously close to beating our record for most comments.
Please recommend to the Big Kahuna that he start a line of champagne. I want to fill my senses with the sweet aroma of a champange that has his musical face on it.
Oh SBN, you are so damned sexy when you’re so damned snotty. Such a haughty beast! *purr*
I love you, Graydar!!!!
Here is my idea. I think the Grayhaired Guitarman should start a line of diapers. I lose my woo whenever I see him!
Graydar, you have deeply disturbed me and slightly scintillated me all at the same time.
However, I did not see a potential cereal name in your post, bitch.
GayFollower, I hate spiders!
For those posters who are suggesting champagne and diaper merchandise for our most excellent Earl of Elocution, I feel a gentle reminder is needed that neither diapers nor champagne are appropriate breakfast foods!
Well, I suppose if you took you mother out to brunch on Mother’s Day, you could technically consider the champagne a breakfast food, but I digress…
Suffice it to say, I will not hesitate to tell on you, if you continue this ridiculous rambling.
Just thought I would quickly add that I love Gay and his Gay family with every hair on my head!
Let’s keep on track and keep the Gay love flowing!!
Kick those spiders to the curb!
GBG and SBN, I am so thankful that Gay has you to assist him in keeping all of us incorrigible imbeciles in line! My fondest desire is to one day be able to keep my face as firmly clenched between his butt cheeks as each of yours are!
Oh, as a small demonstration of my worthiness, I would love to see the cereal named Capn Coolness Crunch with Whomp Berries!
Multi, that was absolutely entrancing. Take that, you eight legged freaks!
Yes, Lick, that young man is very talented. He should be featured here in the next More Artists with Moxie post!
Multiloquent, congratulations on officially breaking our all time post record with your completely off topic post.
Not only did you not mention cereal, but both you and LicketySlit have put this beautiful blog in serious danger of being considered anti-arachnoid. I pray that PETA does not fall upon us with the full force of their animal love!
And just in case WantonWanda awakes from her stupor, I am not referring to bestiality.
The honor of breaking the record should have gone to me…
We broke a record? This milestone achievement should not go to any of us. We just post comments here, we add nothing to this comments section. The honor should go to our beloved Gay.
Sphinctie, when you’re right, you’re right, dude! This is Gay’s pompous pageant, after all.
Gay, congrats on the record! But we need a new blog post, seriously. We need a new place to post our daily blather. This section is getting stale. We need you to guide us. Please, for the love of purple Peeps, do what you do best and write a new blog.
Gay, my purely pristine love for you has increased tenfold as we celebrate this most precious of milestones. Were it not for your loving guidance, assisted by your stern, yet brutal hand of control, we never would have been able to celebrate this achievement.
Bless your oppressive heart, Gay!
Wow! Now back to what this was really about….I have a name:
“Taylor-oos”
BTW congrats on being number 8 on the WordPress Growing Blogs list:)
I’m up for some nutty crunchy taygo rounds.
That shamrock is offensive. This “holiday” does nothing but perpetuate the myth that Irish people are drunken little leprechauns.
Gay, by using a shamrock in the header, you are saying you support the oppression of the Irish people. Take it down at once!
When I get back from the bar, I will be back here to make sure this atrocity has been removed from the site.
Éirinn go Brách!
Thanks Gay for adding the perfect holiday touch to our already magnificent header!
Based its fortuitous placement, I can see why our little green, trifoliate friend has such a big smile on his face!
Lucky leaf . . . very, very lucky leaf!
Gay, the new header just makes my puritanical heart sing with temperant delight! On this most sober of holidays, when people all over the world adopt the Emerald Isle as their homeland while abstaining from all earthly pleasures, it is so wonderful to see those naughty bits appropriately covered.
I’m sure that our own saintly Soul Singer would be pleased to know that his most disturbingly devoted fan, Gay, is protecting his manhood from the prying eyes of those who desire to glorify the magnificence of that which is in his pants.
Oh Goody, bless your naive little heart. Don’t you know that a well placed shamrock only makes us wonder all the more, exactly how big the man’s shillelagh is?
I have to admit that even I, as a true fan of the music of our Transcendently Terrific Tower of Tonality, found an unexpected chuckle form in the bowels of my solar plexus when viewing our new header.
Gay, I am so eagerly anticipating what we may find hovering over his crotchal region for the Easter season. Dare I guess, that we might experience the unbridled joy of a well placed purple Peep?
More cereal name suggestions, stat! The decision is nigh!
Put those thinking caps on (or at least put new batteries in your Speak & Spells).
How about Taystee Nakie Jungle Puffs?
Oh Wanda, is it physically impossible for you to post a comment about anything without it sounding decidedly pervy? You are very lucky that Gay has a soft spot in his cold, cold heart for you.
I submit for consideration, Boogie Crunch with Moxie Mallows!